


Saying goodbye

by LoveDevilKing



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst, I was in a mood, Pain, Sorry Not Sorry, Suffering, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:28:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26673658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveDevilKing/pseuds/LoveDevilKing
Summary: Lucifer never understood the human ritual of gathering around the mortal remains of an individual once the soul had departed. The essence that made the person who they were was gone, leaving an empty shell. It made no sense to mourn that emptiness.But that was before.Before he decided to make his home on Earth. Before he made friends and learned to love. Before he became immersed in emotions he had never felt before.Now he got it. Death was a part of life for mortals so they had had to learn how to deal with the loss and move on; to find a way to survive the pain.Grieving, Dr. Linda called it; this pain that could bring the strongest to their knees. Pain that could seem so overwhelming it was easy to believe it had no end.Lucifer felt that pain now; this pain of loss. But it was infinitely worse for him. Most if not all of the others in the room would see her again.He would not.
Relationships: Lucifer Morningstar & others
Comments: 11
Kudos: 42





	Saying goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I have to wonder what I ate the night before to dream this up. 🤣 
> 
> Maybe I was channeling my inner [NotOneLine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotOneLine/pseuds/NotOneLine).
> 
> Maybe I need to read more fluff.

Lucifer looked out the window, watching a single drop of water run down the pane of glass like a tear escaping the confines of the eye. Southern California didn’t get much rain so it was fitting that the world outside seemed to weep at the loss of one of its brightest souls.

Lucifer never understood the human ritual of gathering around the mortal remains of an individual once the soul had departed. The essence that made the person who they were was gone, leaving an empty shell. It made no sense to mourn that emptiness.

But that was before.

Before he decided to make his home on Earth. Before he made friends and learned to love. Before he became immersed in emotions he had never felt before.

Now he got it. Death was a part of life for mortals so they had had to learn how to deal with the loss and move on; to find a way to survive the pain.

Grieving, Dr. Linda called it; this pain that could bring the strongest to their knees. Pain that could seem so overwhelming it was easy to believe it had no end.

Lucifer felt that pain now; this pain of loss. But it was infinitely worse for him. Most if not all of the others in the room would see her again.

He would not.

He turned to look at these other mourners that had gathered to pay their respects and begin the healing process. They clustered in small groups, talking quietly, swapping stories, trying to stay connected, to not be alone in their grief. He wondered how they fared.

He, himself, felt isolated and forlorn. It wasn’t the fault of the others, his grief seemed to radiate outward and discouraged others from getting close.

He knew what it was to be alone; he had simply forgotten for a while.

He turned back to the window, not really seeing the view but it gave the illusion of space in a room that was rapidly closing in on him.

“Hey, Lu,” said the small brunette as she stood beside Lucifer.

Lucifer gave a slight nod of acknowledgement to the woman at his side.

“Well,” he began, “that’s that, I suppose. At least she will be happy in the Silver City.” His voice broke on the last syllable.

“Yes,” the woman replied. Both were looking out the window now.

Lucifer turned to the petite woman and really looked at her for the first time. Sensing his gaze, she turned to him and he could see the evidence of her sadness on her face.

He wasn’t surprised. They were close after all.

Of course, she would feel it, he did, didn’t he? But whether her sadness was for him or herself, he couldn’t be sure.

Sighing, the woman seemed to gather herself before she spoke again. “I need to go but I wanted to…you know.” She reached out and squeezed Lucifer’s arm in a show of support.

Lucifer gave her a small wan smile. He would take what comfort he could. He knew it wouldn’t help but he appreciated the sentiment.

Time moved on as it invariably did; people coming in and out as they needed yet, Lucifer remained at his post by the window.

No one in the room seemed to be paying him any attention.

Looking toward the front of the room where her casket had been placed, Lucifer replayed the memories of their time together and felt once more how much he would miss her.

He would miss her smile and her laugh as it rang out; always seeming appropriate somehow even with the type of work they did. That’s how special she was.

Nothing would be the same now.

Some unknown time later, someone came close and called him by name. He looked over into the soulful brown eyes of a young woman who shouldn’t be able to look him in the eye like this. She should still be short with sticky fingers, a propensity for hugging and a preference for chocolate cake, not this beautiful young lady who looked a lot like her mother.

“It’s time to go,” Trixie told him. Her eyes and nose were red but she seemed to have gotten over her initial wave of grief.

“Alright, Beatrice,” he remarked. “I’ll meet you outside. I think…I think I wish to say goodbye.” 

He had yet to draw near the casket as he had seen so many others do. But now, he felt the need to see her one more time even if it was just the empty shell.

Trixie nodded her head and sniffling made her way across the room and out the door.

As Lucifer got closer, he took the opportunity to really look at the trappings of grief that had been placed about the room. Flowers and plants from various friends and family. Pictures of happier times running on an infinite loop on the video screens.

 _Did this really help? Did seeing images from the past help ease the pain?_ Lucifer didn’t see how it was possible but he was the novice in this process so he had to believe everyone else knew what helped and what didn’t.

Maybe it was just their way of keeping the memory of the person alive.

No one was ever really gone as long as someone remembered them.

Lucifer stood next to the casket and looked down on the face he knew so well. He didn’t know what to say now that he was here so he just stood there. He knew she couldn’t hear him if he spoke, a fact he didn’t share for it would only wound those who believed they could speak to their loved ones once they moved on. But there was someone who could hear him.

 _Rae-Rae_ , he silently called, _if you will, let her know that...that she will be missed._ He paused. _I will miss her. Take care of her for me, will you?_

He didn’t know if his sister heard him but it didn’t matter. He had faith that she did and would pass on his message.

Straightening up to his full height, he smoothed down the lapels of his suit and adjusted his cuff-links until he felt more settled. Before leaving, he looked at that lovely face once more and spoke.

“Goodbye, Miss Lopez.”


End file.
